This is typical. I have not posted on this blog for....let's just say holy Moses, how time flies! It is amazing to me that my son will turn 2 years old in just two months. It is also amazing that I have still not began analyzing my data for my dissertation. How is this possible? I am one of those people who likes to shoot for the stars. What this means, in reality, is that I like to overcommit myself! I created a dissertation project that is simply ridiculous and will undoubtedly find myself super overwhelmed in the next couple of months as I try to finish my dissertation by August (or June if at all possible). I really wonder how this will impact my little guy...
In my own defense, it is not that I haven't been tryingto get my data. That's right, I still don't have data to analyze! So, as soon as I get some data I will be able to move forward. There is no worse feeling in the world (as a grad student anyway) than feeling stuck in one place, without any power to move forward. It's bullshit actually. Why didn't I just conduct secondary data analysis???
Being a grad student is not just about writing this dissertation either. Job applications....yeah, "they" say applying for jobs is a full-time job in and of itself. Boy, they are not lying! It is amazing to me the amount of time that each application requires. AND while "they" say that my CV is impressive I am literally not even close to eligible for an academic (faculty) position. I say this based on my stack of rejection letters - yeah, there is not acceptance letter pile yet. So, right now I am overly resenting academia for the ridiculous requirements set forth that force us to be away from our families. How dos this make sense?
One of the biggest anxieties I have surrounding all of this grad student stuff is that my family is relying on me to be successful...by successful I mean finish up this dissertation, graduate, and get a decent paying job....all within the next 4-7 months. That is a ton of pressure. At the same time, I am the parent of a toddler, who is relying on me a great deal each and every day. How do you balance it all?
